was exhausted. He had been for some years now, and that exhaustion
was taking it’s toll on his body month after month.
had thought the second war had taken everything it couldn’t from
him, but fifteen years on and he was still around. And in those
years he had once again found a peace that soothed his heart.
first he had thought he was doing what James, Lily and Sirius would
have wanted him too… To make Harry happy… but he had found his
own happiness in this life, a happiness that he had long since lost
and thought he would never find again…
had bought a house with the money Sirius had left him, and then when
the war was over he had Harry move in, the boy had been more than
happy. After all, now he was the closeted connection that Harry had
to his parents and Sirius.
Ginny had moved in and the two had been married, then she had given
birth to three wonderful children, Lilly, James and Siria, two
beautiful girls and a boy. And Remus loved them as his own, looking
after them as their parents went out to work…
had tried also to get a job when Ginny couldn’t work, but even
though the laws on werewolves had been lifted to an extent, old
prejudices still ran deep until Harry had insisted that he stop
trying, and reluctantly he had, instead becoming the children’s
them to school or playing with them and looking after little Siria,
or tucking them in at night when their parents needed a night out to
see Ron and Hermione, or visit the Weasley’s on a school night.
as time went on Remus found the doings of the children more taxing
as day to day life seemed to tire him more and more. After the full
moon he would be out for a week to weak to even look after the
children at times. Luckily Mrs Weasley had come over and taken the
young ones out or looked after them.
it was another full moon night.
had helped tuck in all the children, kissing them on their foreheads
and told them he loved them as their sleepy little eyes closed, and
they had wished their uncle goodnight.
had also gone to bed early, and he had wished her a good night also.
had stayed and watched him do all this, a frown on his brow, as he
had had ever full moon for the last five months.
suspected Harry must know that something was not right, but Remus
had so far managed to comfort him to an extent… But every full
moon he had placed a letter on his dresser with his last Will &
Testament, leaving what ever little he had to Harry and his family.
So far he had tucked them away every morning.
though he couldn’t find that reassuring smile for Harry as he made
his way to the cellar and his cell for the night.
had stood and hugged him tightly before kissing his forehead and
disappearing upstairs without a word. Remus had watched him go with
a heavy heart.
he closed the door to his cell and heard the bolts on the other side
fall into place, only to be opened by magic or who ever came to drag
him back to his bed.
he removed his clothes and folded and piled them neatly onto a high
shelf, as he always did, then wrapped his thin naked body in a dusty
moon would not rise till early in the morning and would only set
after everyone had gone out for the day, so he wouldn’t not be
disturbed until someone came home later that evening.
a sigh he lay down on the thread bare rug that served for the only
furnishings in the small dark room.
had tried to get a mattress at least, but Remus had only refused, it
would only be shredded the first night it was there…
the night passed, he finally felt the first stirring of change. His
chest tightened as his skin itched, bones stretched under skin
making him cry out in pain that soon turned to howling as the change
let his head fall to the rug, his chest heaving with pants as his
tong lolled from his mouth onto the floor.
the werewolf was tired, he could smell the humans in the house, but
had no desire to try and reach them this night.
slept fitfully, until he could hear the family rising and getting
ready for their normal day without him.
lifted his head so he could smell them more clearly as they cooked
something for breakfast; they shuffled about above him as if trying
not to attract his attention.
tried to stand, to sniff their scents under the door, but when he
tried to get his forepaws beneath him, he just collapsed back onto
the cold hard, unforgiving ground.
the sounds of humans faded and the house became quiet again around
eyes watched as a weak nick of light appeared on the floor, then slowly
moved across it towards him.
focus on this as it stopped him concentrating on his body until his breath
caught in his chest, in animalistic panic he struggled to a sitting
position, his head hung low between his shoulders as he struggled to
breath, his tong once again lolling from his mouth.
pounding of his heart was loud in his ears, but it wasn’t as fast
as it should be.
a time he sank back down onto his side. Even the wolf in him had recognized
the signs as his chest rose and fell, each time more shallow and
long in coming than the last.
watched as the sliver of light crossed onto his paw, then watched in
fascination as that paw turned into his own bony hand.
had been no pain in this last transformation, his body had flowed
from wolf to human like water and with his human senses he knew that
this was the last time he would ever know the Moony half of himself.
single tear rolled from his eye.
didn’t want to leave Harry, didn’t want to be the next person to
leave tears in those bright green eyes.
the air would not come and fill his lungs and his heart would not
beat his blood around his system any faster.
slowly he let his eyes close on a world that had taken everyone he
loved from him. He was not bitter; after all in the end he had Harry
and his wonderful family, even if he no longer had his own.
felt his heartbeat finally come to a slow stop.
A peace, he had never felt before, engulfed him.
was no pain now; there was no debilitating exhaustion, no worry and
felt his lungs take a deep breath then let it out with a slowness
that would never be replenished… as finally he stilled…
everything that was Remus J Lupin was gone…
open your eyes…”
soft voice… One he hardly recognized, one that filled his half realized
hand brushing his hair from his face.
Remus did as the voice commanded, to find crystal gray eyes staring
down at him, laughter played in their depths.
took your time.” Hands pulled him up off the floor until he was
standing. “I’ve been watching for so long…”
felt himself smiling, then more tears ran down his check…
other man smiled, pulling him close. “The one and only…” he
began to pull Remus with him as he stepped back into a light that
should have been blinding.
soft caress on his check. “Will be fine… you did a good job.”
Soft lips against his own, “Come, the others are eager to meet you
Remus went with his lover into a light that no mortal eyes could
had known something wasn’t right with Remus, and he had come home
as soon as the moon had set in the daylight.
quickly made his way to the cell in the cellar and with a flick of
his wand, unlocked the door and threw it open.
was laid on the rug with his back to the door and Harry’s heart
missed a beat when he realized he wasn’t moving.
a choked sob he fell to his knees and pulled Remus into his arms,
his skin was pail and he was colder than he should have been.
crushing grief took hold of his chest as he realized that Remus had
died alone… alone in a cold dark cellar with no one to ease his
passing and the guilt was a pare with his loss.
buried his face into gray hair as tears spilled from his eyes and
breathless, halting sobs broke from his lips as he held his
Godfather too him.
had known Remus deeper and longer than he had ever known any of his
other relatives, even his Godfather in name. And now he was gone.
rocked the cooling body back and forth, breathing apologies and
moans of grief until he was horse.
he pulled away when his chest felt as hollow as it had done
seventeen years ago when he had watched Sirius disappear behind the
vale… only this seemed worse somehow, there was no one too be
angry at, there was no one to blame..
looked down into his Godfathers face and was shocked to see a slight
smile on blue lips.
wiped his eyes as he studied that face he knew so well. He had
expected to see eyes open in terror or a blank nothingness…
was nothing of horror or pain in the still face.
ran his fingers over cold smiling lips and felt his own lips
tighten into a sad mirror image.
least his godfather was at peace now, and were ever that was he
seemed happy to go, that was the best Harry could hope for…
laid Remus’s body onto the floor slowly.
could hear Ginny opening the front door…
my first finished Sirius/Remus fict… and it isn’t a happy one.
came to me as I was just about to fall asleep last night and well
it’s just been burning to be written cause it was depressing me!
now I inflict it on you who have just read it… Hope you liked and
a Review would be nice if you can manage it through the angst fest
there isn’t any, Sirius/Remus implied
all belong to J,K,Rowling… Suing me will only get you an
impressive collection of gay porn in the form of Japanese manga…
on my own fanfiction page… when ever I remember to update it with
this and a few more VC ficts ^_^ I’m so lazy
story has a shorter ending that the original. cause it was lame :P
now it's just depressing ^_^