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No Pain… 

Disclaimer & Waffle:

Rating: umm… PG13?
Harry Potter Fanfiction

Paring: there isn’t any, Sirius/Remus implied
WARNING: if you havent read OotP then dont read this

Disclaimer: all belong to J,K,Rowling… Suing me will only get you an impressive collection of gay porn in the form of Japanese manga…

Archived: on my own fanfiction page… when ever I remember to update it with this and a few more VC ficts ^_^ I’m so lazy

 

Disclaimer: Don't sue me, I only know that being IN the black is what I wear not what on my bank statements :P

 

 

No Pain…

By Bane Huntress

17, Aug, 04

 

Remus was exhausted. He had been for some years now, and that exhaustion was taking it’s toll on his body month after month.

He had thought the second war had taken everything it couldn’t from him, but fifteen years on and he was still around. And in those years he had once again found a peace that soothed his heart.

At first he had thought he was doing what James, Lily and Sirius would have wanted him too… To make Harry happy… but he had found his own happiness in this life, a happiness that he had long since lost and thought he would never find again…

He had bought a house with the money Sirius had left him, and then when the war was over he had Harry move in, the boy had been more than happy. After all, now he was the closeted connection that Harry had to his parents and Sirius.

Then Ginny had moved in and the two had been married, then she had given birth to three wonderful children, Lilly, James and Siria, two beautiful girls and a boy. And Remus loved them as his own, looking after them as their parents went out to work…

Remus had tried also to get a job when Ginny couldn’t work, but even though the laws on werewolves had been lifted to an extent, old prejudices still ran deep until Harry had insisted that he stop trying, and reluctantly he had, instead becoming the children’s nanny almost.

Taking them to school or playing with them and looking after little Siria, or tucking them in at night when their parents needed a night out to see Ron and Hermione, or visit the Weasley’s on a school night.

But as time went on Remus found the doings of the children more taxing as day to day life seemed to tire him more and more. After the full moon he would be out for a week to weak to even look after the children at times. Luckily Mrs Weasley had come over and taken the young ones out or looked after them.

Now it was another full moon night.

He had helped tuck in all the children, kissing them on their foreheads and told them he loved them as their sleepy little eyes closed, and they had wished their uncle goodnight.

Ginny had also gone to bed early, and he had wished her a good night also.

Harry had stayed and watched him do all this, a frown on his brow, as he had had ever full moon for the last five months.

He suspected Harry must know that something was not right, but Remus had so far managed to comfort him to an extent… But every full moon he had placed a letter on his dresser with his last Will & Testament, leaving what ever little he had to Harry and his family. So far he had tucked them away every morning.

Tonight though he couldn’t find that reassuring smile for Harry as he made his way to the cellar and his cell for the night.

Harry had stood and hugged him tightly before kissing his forehead and disappearing upstairs without a word. Remus had watched him go with a heavy heart.

Finally he closed the door to his cell and heard the bolts on the other side fall into place, only to be opened by magic or who ever came to drag him back to his bed.

Slowly he removed his clothes and folded and piled them neatly onto a high shelf, as he always did, then wrapped his thin naked body in a dusty old sheet.

The moon would not rise till early in the morning and would only set after everyone had gone out for the day, so he wouldn’t not be disturbed until someone came home later that evening.

With a sigh he lay down on the thread bare rug that served for the only furnishings in the small dark room.

Harry had tried to get a mattress at least, but Remus had only refused, it would only be shredded the first night it was there…

As the night passed, he finally felt the first stirring of change. His chest tightened as his skin itched, bones stretched under skin making him cry out in pain that soon turned to howling as the change was completed.

Moony let his head fall to the rug, his chest heaving with pants as his tong lolled from his mouth onto the floor.

Even the werewolf was tired, he could smell the humans in the house, but had no desire to try and reach them this night.

He slept fitfully, until he could hear the family rising and getting ready for their normal day without him.

He lifted his head so he could smell them more clearly as they cooked something for breakfast; they shuffled about above him as if trying not to attract his attention.

He tried to stand, to sniff their scents under the door, but when he tried to get his forepaws beneath him, he just collapsed back onto the cold hard, unforgiving ground.

Slowly the sounds of humans faded and the house became quiet again around him.

His eyes watched as a weak nick of light appeared on the floor, then slowly moved across it towards him.

His focus on this as it stopped him concentrating on his body until his breath caught in his chest, in animalistic panic he struggled to a sitting position, his head hung low between his shoulders as he struggled to breath, his tong once again lolling from his mouth.

The pounding of his heart was loud in his ears, but it wasn’t as fast as it should be.

After a time he sank back down onto his side. Even the wolf in him had recognized the signs as his chest rose and fell, each time more shallow and long in coming than the last.

He watched as the sliver of light crossed onto his paw, then watched in fascination as that paw turned into his own bony hand.

There had been no pain in this last transformation, his body had flowed from wolf to human like water and with his human senses he knew that this was the last time he would ever know the Moony half of himself.

A single tear rolled from his eye.

He didn’t want to leave Harry, didn’t want to be the next person to leave tears in those bright green eyes.

But the air would not come and fill his lungs and his heart would not beat his blood around his system any faster.

Very slowly he let his eyes close on a world that had taken everyone he loved from him. He was not bitter; after all in the end he had Harry and his wonderful family, even if he no longer had his own.

He felt his heartbeat finally come to a slow stop.
A peace, he had never felt before, engulfed him.

There was no pain now; there was no debilitating exhaustion, no worry and no sadness.

He felt his lungs take a deep breath then let it out with a slowness that would never be replenished… as finally he stilled…

And everything that was Remus J Lupin was gone…

Dead…

 

“Remmie…”

A bright light.

“Remmie… open your eyes…”

A soft voice… One he hardly recognized, one that filled his half realized dreams.

A hand brushing his hair from his face.

Slowly Remus did as the voice commanded, to find crystal gray eyes staring down at him, laughter played in their depths.

“You took your time.” Hands pulled him up off the floor until he was standing. “I’ve been watching for so long…”

Remus felt himself smiling, then more tears ran down his check…

“Sirius…”

The other man smiled, pulling him close. “The one and only…” he began to pull Remus with him as he stepped back into a light that should have been blinding.

“But Harry…”

Another soft caress on his check. “Will be fine… you did a good job.” Soft lips against his own, “Come, the others are eager to meet you too…”

And Remus went with his lover into a light that no mortal eyes could ever see…

 

Harry had known something wasn’t right with Remus, and he had come home as soon as the moon had set in the daylight.

He quickly made his way to the cell in the cellar and with a flick of his wand, unlocked the door and threw it open.

Remus was laid on the rug with his back to the door and Harry’s heart missed a beat when he realized he wasn’t moving.

With a choked sob he fell to his knees and pulled Remus into his arms, his skin was pail and he was colder than he should have been.

A crushing grief took hold of his chest as he realized that Remus had died alone… alone in a cold dark cellar with no one to ease his passing and the guilt was a pare with his loss.

He buried his face into gray hair as tears spilled from his eyes and breathless, halting sobs broke from his lips as he held his Godfather too him.

He had known Remus deeper and longer than he had ever known any of his other relatives, even his Godfather in name. And now he was gone.

He rocked the cooling body back and forth, breathing apologies and moans of grief until he was horse.

Finally he pulled away when his chest felt as hollow as it had done seventeen years ago when he had watched Sirius disappear behind the vale… only this seemed worse somehow, there was no one too be angry at, there was no one to blame..

He looked down into his Godfathers face and was shocked to see a slight smile on blue lips.

He wiped his eyes as he studied that face he knew so well. He had expected to see eyes open in terror or a blank nothingness…

There was nothing of horror or pain in the still face.

Harry ran his fingers over cold smiling lips and felt his own lips tighten into a sad mirror image.

At least his godfather was at peace now, and were ever that was he seemed happy to go, that was the best Harry could hope for…

He laid Remus’s body onto the floor slowly.

He could hear Ginny opening the front door…

 

The end

 

 

A/N; my first finished Sirius/Remus fict… and it isn’t a happy one. Sorry…

This came to me as I was just about to fall asleep last night and well it’s just been burning to be written cause it was depressing me!

So now I inflict it on you who have just read it… Hope you liked and a Review would be nice if you can manage it through the angst fest ^_^

 

Rating: umm… PG13?

Paring: there isn’t any, Sirius/Remus implied

Disclaimer: all belong to J,K,Rowling… Suing me will only get you an impressive collection of gay porn in the form of Japanese manga…

Archived: on my own fanfiction page… when ever I remember to update it with this and a few more VC ficts ^_^ I’m so lazy

This story has a shorter ending that the original. cause it was lame :P now it's just depressing ^_^

 

Banes_Harem@homtmail.com - Please leave feedback ^_~

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